Lists, lists and more lists. Lists of shopping, birthdays, anniversaries, projects to be done, dream projects, things I need to do, things that need to be done to the house, to our vehicles, to us. The lists are never ending and tonight they have invaded my space.
I am a lister, for those of you familiar with the Vermont usage of that word, that is what I am for a job but also what I do, I make lists and I don't think I have ever finished a list. I mean start at the top and work my way right down to the bottom, no ifs, ands or buts, everything crossed off in good fashion and done. Nope, I never have.
I buy small notebooks to make my lists in. I have at least 4 or 5 right now and then a larger covered notebook given to me which is the 'creative sort of stuff' notebook. I have also started a binder which breaks down the months into paycheck weeks and has anticipatory lists of things to be attended to such as vehicle registration, oil changes, buying wood for winter, etc. The small books contain grocery lists and errands to be done. I cross things off and when a page is done I fold it in half lengthwise. So I know where the next list begins.
I have dry erase boards on the fridge as the first step in making a grocery list. I have a phone list next to the kitchen phone, for frequently called numbers (which I really don't need a list for) and of course the power outage number.
I carry a list of the medications I take, the vitamins I take and the operations I have had for when I see a new doctor and they insist that I fill out a form with all this information and more.
I make mental lists when there is not paper or pen handy, who am I kidding, I have at least 2 small notebooks in my purse right now with pens. I have them next to where I sit in the living room, there is one near the phone, and there are several next to my bed. I can list anytime and anywhere.
This all has nothing to do with the age that I am at. I have had this disturbing problem for years. The bigger problem is I am also a procrastinator. So sometimes my lists are self defeating. I look at a list and I panic, when I panic, I procrastinate and then the list becomes daunting, overwhelming and intimidating, yet I keep doing it.
Granted there is nothing bad in listing in of itself. It's just I can't keep my lists small. They grow as my head fills with ideas of things to be done, or things dreamt of or just everyday, run of the mill stuff. I love lists or maybe I just love writing them, and yes I am old school as they say, I 'write' them. I do no print them, I use cursive and write. It happens that I like, no, love to write. There is something about pen put to paper, it is an artistic expression in itself.
I have always loved ink, pens and paper. Dipping and old fashion pen into an inkwell and scratching out a list, or a comfortable modern pen that glides over a page. For a long time in my younger days I used a refillable pen. It had a little bladder in it and you pulled up a small lever that would suck the ink out of a bottle and into the bladder. Oh what a beauty that one was.
I think I now realize what my issue is. It is not the lists, it is the fact I like to write them. I enjoy seeing the words, sometimes expressing a dream, a piece of ordinary life, or an idea. They are part of me. An odd, maybe not quite mainstream part but they are me. A small expression of my artistic nature. Cursive handwriting, no matter how we are taught it, it becomes our own.
So maybe my list obsession isn't such a bad thing. I may never reach the end of my list but I will damn well enjoy writing it. In fact I think it's time to invest in a good old fashion refillable ink pen.
I am a lister, for those of you familiar with the Vermont usage of that word, that is what I am for a job but also what I do, I make lists and I don't think I have ever finished a list. I mean start at the top and work my way right down to the bottom, no ifs, ands or buts, everything crossed off in good fashion and done. Nope, I never have.
I buy small notebooks to make my lists in. I have at least 4 or 5 right now and then a larger covered notebook given to me which is the 'creative sort of stuff' notebook. I have also started a binder which breaks down the months into paycheck weeks and has anticipatory lists of things to be attended to such as vehicle registration, oil changes, buying wood for winter, etc. The small books contain grocery lists and errands to be done. I cross things off and when a page is done I fold it in half lengthwise. So I know where the next list begins.
I have dry erase boards on the fridge as the first step in making a grocery list. I have a phone list next to the kitchen phone, for frequently called numbers (which I really don't need a list for) and of course the power outage number.
I carry a list of the medications I take, the vitamins I take and the operations I have had for when I see a new doctor and they insist that I fill out a form with all this information and more.
I make mental lists when there is not paper or pen handy, who am I kidding, I have at least 2 small notebooks in my purse right now with pens. I have them next to where I sit in the living room, there is one near the phone, and there are several next to my bed. I can list anytime and anywhere.
This all has nothing to do with the age that I am at. I have had this disturbing problem for years. The bigger problem is I am also a procrastinator. So sometimes my lists are self defeating. I look at a list and I panic, when I panic, I procrastinate and then the list becomes daunting, overwhelming and intimidating, yet I keep doing it.
Granted there is nothing bad in listing in of itself. It's just I can't keep my lists small. They grow as my head fills with ideas of things to be done, or things dreamt of or just everyday, run of the mill stuff. I love lists or maybe I just love writing them, and yes I am old school as they say, I 'write' them. I do no print them, I use cursive and write. It happens that I like, no, love to write. There is something about pen put to paper, it is an artistic expression in itself.
I have always loved ink, pens and paper. Dipping and old fashion pen into an inkwell and scratching out a list, or a comfortable modern pen that glides over a page. For a long time in my younger days I used a refillable pen. It had a little bladder in it and you pulled up a small lever that would suck the ink out of a bottle and into the bladder. Oh what a beauty that one was.
I think I now realize what my issue is. It is not the lists, it is the fact I like to write them. I enjoy seeing the words, sometimes expressing a dream, a piece of ordinary life, or an idea. They are part of me. An odd, maybe not quite mainstream part but they are me. A small expression of my artistic nature. Cursive handwriting, no matter how we are taught it, it becomes our own.
So maybe my list obsession isn't such a bad thing. I may never reach the end of my list but I will damn well enjoy writing it. In fact I think it's time to invest in a good old fashion refillable ink pen.
