When I was taken in to care by my future adoptive parents at the age of three (according to my mother), it was suggested that my name be changed. Unlike a dog you can't just change a child's name. A dog may respond to treats and cookies and quickly adapt to a new name. Children take a little longer and there is a transition period.
My 'official' name is Sandra Cathy Rudski (for ease I am not including my married name of Capponcelli). My grandmother on my father's side was Alexsandra before she decided to 'Americanize' her name after immigrating to this country from Poland to Alice. So that is where the Sandra came from. The Cathy was an homage to my previous life before adoption. Although my parents either got it wrong or choose deliberately to get it wrong. In my previous life I had been know as Kate, although my birth name was Catherine (with a 'C' if you please), I was Kate or maybe Cate. Anyway that was BA, Before Adoption.
For almost a year before the official paper work was typed up, signatures added and seals affixed I lived in an odd world of having no name. I was not Catherine or Cate, Sandra or Sandy (with an 'i' nowadays if you please). I was sweetie, honey, dear and any other term of endearment you can think of. I am sure my new name was slipped in there every now and then so I would hear it and adjust to it. Just as I am sure my 'old' name disappeared as if it never existed.
Of course as I grew older I had no memory of this time period but I developed some slightly odd quirks about names. I do not like being called Sandra. I love the name but it has and edge to it that bothers me. The sibilant 'S' and the hard 'R' at the end. I prefer Sandi. It, to me, is soft and comfortable. My middle name Cathy was always quite vexing in school. As a child I wanted desperately to blend in, to be part of the wall, to just watch. Having Cathy as a middle name meant every year as I moved from one grade to another, as the teacher read our names out loud on that first day of school, I would be questioned about my middle name. 'Is it Kathleen?' they would ask, 'or Katherine?' 'No', I would reply, 'it is Cathy with a C.' One thing I understood from my earliest memories of school was the process of reading. Understanding the alphabet and unlike most of my classmates in the earliest of grades, I knew how to write my name, Sandra Cathy Rudski. Of course the teachers would say, 'is that Kathy with a K.'. This conversation year after year would inevitably end up with me going to the principal office (I mean I went to the same elementary school for 6 years, you would have thought the teachers could have foregone this name game every year). I think I may have already developed a bit of an issue with the whole name thing. Fortunately for me our principal Mrs. Allen was a kind woman who knew of my 'circumstances' and would let me sit outside her office for a few minutes to cool off. Before she doled out some words of authority and kindness to me. I never feared going to the principal's office. For me that was a place of retreat not punishment.
I developed a fondness as I grew older for the name Kate. I wanted to be a Kate. Specifically I wanted to be Katherine Hepburn. Cool, calm, yet passionate. This must have driven my parents crazy. It wasn't till years later that I found out my birth name was Catherine and indeed I had been a Kate all along.
I would prefer that any 'terms of endearment' not be used in conjunction with me. I am not your honey, sweetie, dearie or any of those homilies. I am Sandi, plain and simple. Nicknames should be used on dogs and cats and other 4 legged (or 2 legged) animals. A person should have a name to be called by, not a nickname or a general purpose name but their name.
My name is Sandi (which is the diminutive of Sandra) and I am sticking to it.
My 'official' name is Sandra Cathy Rudski (for ease I am not including my married name of Capponcelli). My grandmother on my father's side was Alexsandra before she decided to 'Americanize' her name after immigrating to this country from Poland to Alice. So that is where the Sandra came from. The Cathy was an homage to my previous life before adoption. Although my parents either got it wrong or choose deliberately to get it wrong. In my previous life I had been know as Kate, although my birth name was Catherine (with a 'C' if you please), I was Kate or maybe Cate. Anyway that was BA, Before Adoption.
For almost a year before the official paper work was typed up, signatures added and seals affixed I lived in an odd world of having no name. I was not Catherine or Cate, Sandra or Sandy (with an 'i' nowadays if you please). I was sweetie, honey, dear and any other term of endearment you can think of. I am sure my new name was slipped in there every now and then so I would hear it and adjust to it. Just as I am sure my 'old' name disappeared as if it never existed.
Of course as I grew older I had no memory of this time period but I developed some slightly odd quirks about names. I do not like being called Sandra. I love the name but it has and edge to it that bothers me. The sibilant 'S' and the hard 'R' at the end. I prefer Sandi. It, to me, is soft and comfortable. My middle name Cathy was always quite vexing in school. As a child I wanted desperately to blend in, to be part of the wall, to just watch. Having Cathy as a middle name meant every year as I moved from one grade to another, as the teacher read our names out loud on that first day of school, I would be questioned about my middle name. 'Is it Kathleen?' they would ask, 'or Katherine?' 'No', I would reply, 'it is Cathy with a C.' One thing I understood from my earliest memories of school was the process of reading. Understanding the alphabet and unlike most of my classmates in the earliest of grades, I knew how to write my name, Sandra Cathy Rudski. Of course the teachers would say, 'is that Kathy with a K.'. This conversation year after year would inevitably end up with me going to the principal office (I mean I went to the same elementary school for 6 years, you would have thought the teachers could have foregone this name game every year). I think I may have already developed a bit of an issue with the whole name thing. Fortunately for me our principal Mrs. Allen was a kind woman who knew of my 'circumstances' and would let me sit outside her office for a few minutes to cool off. Before she doled out some words of authority and kindness to me. I never feared going to the principal's office. For me that was a place of retreat not punishment.
I developed a fondness as I grew older for the name Kate. I wanted to be a Kate. Specifically I wanted to be Katherine Hepburn. Cool, calm, yet passionate. This must have driven my parents crazy. It wasn't till years later that I found out my birth name was Catherine and indeed I had been a Kate all along.
I would prefer that any 'terms of endearment' not be used in conjunction with me. I am not your honey, sweetie, dearie or any of those homilies. I am Sandi, plain and simple. Nicknames should be used on dogs and cats and other 4 legged (or 2 legged) animals. A person should have a name to be called by, not a nickname or a general purpose name but their name.
My name is Sandi (which is the diminutive of Sandra) and I am sticking to it.
