Dishwasher woes

The end of April is almost upon us. Three days to go and then May Day and Cinco de Mayo and so many other things that the month will bring us. Every month is like that. Full of special days, not so special days, holidays and days full of memories.
This past month and for most of March our dishwasher lay silent. slumbering behind its closed door, the water in its pipes becoming foul. It stopped working one day. With a full load and the detergent stowed onboard it just didn't work. Well that is not quite right. It ran through it's complete cycle but at no time was any water involved.
Financials being a little slim we decided to let the dishwasher sit. We were born before such popular use of this kitchen appliance and remember well how to wash dishes (Gasp! Dare I say it?) by hand. So that is how it went for about 6 weeks.
It is funny what you remember from youth. Now I have had a dishwasher for 30+ years and washing dishes is not what I consider a thrill. But the memories invoked from this simple chore brought back memories of my parents house of more than 40 years ago. Stacking the plates, cups, silverware, pots and pans. Silverware was done first, followed by plates, cups and or glasses and finally the pots and pans. My mother was a firm believer of drying everything. Nothing was left in the drainer to be air dried. And doing the dishes was not done by the household head, my father. He excused himself and went off to his own pursuits. After breakfast it was work. On the weekends, after lunch could mean mowing the lawn during the warm weather or reading a book or watching TV during the cold weather. Dinner definitely meant the big leather chair and the evening newspaper. That was life back then. And sometimes (not always) it was better.
When we built our first house as soon as we could we got a dishwasher. My hubby and I had days full of children and work. With little time for dishes. We would regularly 'lose' our countertop under the piles of dirty dishes. Having a dishwasher was a blessing. One less chore to do among many. And sometimes we even remembered to put the clean dishes away. 
The first thing I noticed when we built our second home upon the perusing of the floor plans is there was no dishwasher. That was quickly corrected and life went on. 
We are technically on our 3rd dishwasher. The first died and my hubby was in the midst of renovating the president's house at the college. One thing to be upgraded was their dishwasher. So we were able to take their old dishwasher, our old dishwasher and make a 'new' dishwasher. That one eventually went the way of all appliances and we were forced to buy a new one. 
So there we were, washing dishes by hand and enjoying it. Well it is only the two of us so it's not like we generate a lot of dirty dishes in one day. I admit around Easter with all the baking and such I did miss the ol' dishwasher but only in the sense of a second pair of hands to help out with the unusually high volume of dirty pots and pans.
Finally the day came to see it the problem with the dishwasher was fixable by us or it we had to buy new again. It was a simple job which my hubby took on. Unfortunately simple does not always mean easy. Getting to the underbelly of the beast meant unhooking it from its plumbing, detaching it from the underside of the counter, pulling it out and realizing we are not repairmen so we have to make due with the tools we have since we don't have the specials tools for the special nuts and bolts. And also realizing that troubleshooting pamphlet included in the paperwork was written for a repairman not for us. Somehow, despite water leaking down to the cellar, the lack of special tools and more than one moment of thinking about just tossing the old bugger out (both hubby and dishwasher) we came upon the problem, a clogged filter. A small bit of plastic screening in the shape of a doll size cup that was full of debris. Not unusual for anything around here that water runs through and contains a filter as we have a very high mineral content in our water and our water comes out of a 'bore hole' well. In other words a hole drilled through bedrock. This is real, natural water.
Once the filter was cleaned out and the dishwasher reassemble and re-installed, the water flowed and all was good. Or was it? I miss that chore. No I don't want to wash dishes for a houseful but I didn't mind doing it for us. I could stand there and remember all those times I stood in my parents house. Before life got complicated and confusing. Before the world and I rushed headlong into the great unknown. I can hear the rustle of the paper from the father in the other room and I can see the kitchen and my mom. I miss them but life moves on and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I think I am going to start washing dishes again. Oh not all the time but when I need time. Time to slow down and enjoy the memories.

3 a.m.

What am I doing up right now? Three o'clock in the morning, my bedroom light is on hidden behind a closed door and drawn curtains. I can't sleep. I try but I can't. I am hot, shaking, light headed and sleep eludes me like a dream. I am detoxing. How the hell did I get here? It is really a simple story.
I use to sleep like stone. I slept through my 2 boys infancy. I didn't hear their cries in the night, their father did. Once I fell asleep, I slept, I dreamed, I awoke in the morning refreshed. Then it stopped. Not suddenly but gradually my nights of sleeping stopped. I was what is now called Peri-menopausal at 35.
My body betrayed me with restless nights. Some nights only a few uncomfortable hours of rest with hot flashes thrown in just to add to the misery of my nights.
Finally after years of on and off again problematic sleep I asked for and received a prescription for sleeping pills.Oh the bliss of those tiny pills. Take one and the world disappears for at least 6 hours. The night hours enfold you in a blanket of sleep. They are indeed a blessing and a curse. I didn't realize it but I had started an addiction. Wanting to sleep, desperate for sleep, I let a little pill do what my body no longer seemed able to do. And now my body can't sleep without it's little pill. It is not a comfortable feeling to lose control of part of your life. And I have most definitely lost control of my sleeping habits. So tonight for some reason I decided not to take my little pill. I have tried before and what I am feeling right now is most unpleasant. I want to grab that prescription bottle and just pop a pill. Make the misery end and slip away into my lovely drug induced sleep.
I am tired, in fact exhausted by this night time ritual of using a drug to fall asleep.  This is the longest, roughest and most sleepless night I have had in a long time. But it also occurs to me that my nights of sleeplessness don't have to be wasted on tossing, turning and hoping for sleep. There is a stack of books I would like to read. There are cross stitch pieces I want to do. In fact there are many quiet and comforting projects I could do easily in the dark hours. I don't have to sleep because eventually I will sleep. I may not sleep like my pre-35 year old body but I will adjust and eventually sleep will come and I will gratefully accept it.
Meanwhile, there is a book I have been meaning to read.